Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Married


We're settling in after the honeymoon, with the wedding glow still warming our hearts as we start to navigate this new-old life together.  I'm sorting through what to write and share but, at the moment, I can say that our wedding was worth it. That doesn't mean the wedding can gloss over or completely wipe clean the challenges, because getting here was harder and more painful than I ever expected and the month leading up to the wedding was... difficult. Without any exaggeration, that month was an excruciating tangle of stretched-past-the-limit stress, loneliness, under-addressed irritations, heart-hurts, and compromises that left me doubting the value of wedding (but never the marriage), all the way until I fell asleep the night before. (Some of the hard stuff was wedding-related and some was life-related, but the particular combination was simply toxic). 

And yet, from the first waking moments of our wedding day, there was true magic in the air. I'm not someone who believes in the intangibles and indefinables of fairy-dust magic but, really and truly, it was there, shimmering as it filled in the cracks and leaving a sparkle-sheen on everything it touched. Over the course of that joy-filled day, our wedding somehow became everything I'd ever hoped it could be.  And then it became more.  

Our wedding was vitally important.  It helped heal the wounds of the month before and it built something new and stronger that goes much deeper than a marriage license, a public ceremony, or an incredible wild-joy party. Our wedding mattered - both the process and the actual day itself - in ways I could never have anticipated and that I feel truly lucky to have experienced.

Our wedding was worth it. And now we're home, excited for the adventure that married life has already become, looking forward to the next challenges and joys.


Photo taken by my mother on her old point-and-shoot camera. And really, this simple image says everything that matters.

42 comments:

  1. How perfect. I can't think of anything more lovely to stare at as I drink my morning coffee!

    Congratulations.

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  2. I've been lurking here a bit but I have to say, this is beautiful and it really resonates with me. The week before my wedding was probably one of the worst weeks of my life, but the wedding made it all worth it. It didn't make it okay that the previous week happened, but it made it worth it.

    Congratulations to you both!

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  3. So excited that you're back! I hope you two had a fabulous honeymoon and I cannot wait to see the wedding recaps. This picture captures all the awesomeness of weddings =)

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  4. This post has filled my heart to brimming this morning! I'm so glad you had fairy dust. :)

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  5. That picture just warmed my heart, twinkled my toes, and made me the happiest person ever.

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  6. Yay! It seems like the photo speaks for itself!

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  7. Congratulations!! I'm so happy the day was filled with magic for you guys. I can't wait to hear more :-)

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  8. I'm 2 weeks away from wedding day and have been impatiently waiting for a dose of wisdom from you. Can't wait to read all your wondrous prose. Like I've said before, lady jane.....YOU RAWK!

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  9. Wow, I'm smiling from ear to ear in my office. That picture brings the warmest feelings to my heart. Hooray! You are married!

    Glad to hear the journey was all worth it and that magic made a strong showing. Can't wait to read more.

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  10. Congratulations! I am in the middle of planning for my wedding and I recently found your website. I started at the beginning of you archive and have just recently made it up to present day. I want to thank you for all the words you have written and I look forward to learning even more from your recent experience.

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  11. Oh, I'm so glad! I've had a severe case of the wedding-planning-lonelies lately and tihs gives me so much hope. Congratulations!

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  12. What a perfect image! That says it all. Congratulations!!!

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  13. Woohoo! So happy for you two! The love was all over the place that night!

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  14. absolutely beautiful! congratulations :)

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  15. I am so glad it was worth it and that your wedding day was a meaningful and joy-filled day. I am sorry that the weeks leading up to it were so difficult and I wish you much healing, calm, and deep happiness in your married life.

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  16. Bam. Married.

    We have that exact same picture, and it's the only one of our wedding that's framed (well, other than the one in the bathroom, achem). It's never going on the internet though, so go you.

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  17. This is beautiful! Congratulations!!

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  18. Smile.

    (You know how happy I am for you xxx)

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  19. congratulations! that photo is lovely.

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  20. That picture is 100% undiluted awesome. I'm so glad your wedding was "worth it" and can't wait to read more about it.

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  21. So, so, so much joy radiating from this picture. I love that your mother captured this photo. Even in person, she reminds me of my own mother. No matter what happened before, your wedding was worth the trouble, and you and Jason are stronger for having gone through it. I know that to be true.

    It's good to have you back.

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  22. "Our wedding mattered - both the process and the actual day itself - in ways I could never have anticipated and that I feel truly lucky to have experienced."

    Mmmmm, YES. I'm so glad you had a great day. Weddings are crazy and ridiculous and wonderful. They really do shimmer. And what's great is that the further away you get from it, they seem to shimmer even more.


    "Photo taken by my mother on her old point-and-shoot camera. And really, this simple image says everything that matters."

    ....yes, it does. Congrats. <3

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  23. Congratulations! And what a beautiful image to remember this moment by.

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  24. Congratulations!! Can't wait to read what you have to say about it all. It's nice to have you back!

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  25. @Everyone, you're making me all weepy again. And I swear, I'm already weepy in at least half our photos (though I've yet to see the majority of Kelly's shots, so it could get even weepier and better/worse.)

    @Chickachick - hang in there! 2 weeks!

    @Cole - the loneliness was the hardest of many hard parts. It's still hard to think about. Email if you need support.

    @Meg - I took a really long think about it, but it was the just-right photo for a just-right feeling. Nothing fancy, just raw and right. And pink shoes.

    Dang, I want to internet hug all of you. I'm happy to be back.

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  26. Congratulations to the both of you! What a wonderful emotionally filled photograph :)

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  27. Ayyy! I die of joy. Glad you got a good dose of magic moments to banish the yuck of the pre-wedding. Happy marriage!

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  28. GRINNING.

    Congratulations, lady!

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  29. YAY!!! Huge congratulations and I can't wait to hear more, as you're ready and able.

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  30. Yay! The pure joy in that picture really says it all. Many, many happy returns!

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  31. Yay! We missed you. Or I certainly did.

    Congrats on your marriage girl. I am so glad to hear that the day was worth the heart ache.

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  32. Yay married!! Happy to have you back! Can't wait to hear how it all went down.

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  33. Yay!!! Your post gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy for you guys!! And selfishly, you give me inspiration to continue trucking through all of the not-fun-ness that comes with the planning of the wedding. Cheers!!

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  34. That image is so perfect and we all want to see more!

    xoxo,
    Chic 'n Cheap Living

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  35. Hooray! You know I'm totally psyched to hear all the details! Love the pic!

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  36. That picture is perfect. Congratulations, and I am so glad to hear you say it was all worth it! Gives me the strength to just keep on going at it!

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  37. Congratulations; so glad that your wedding was everything you wanted it to be! xxx

    {p.s the 3rd of April was a fabulous day to get married; we chose the same day last year and just celebrated our anniversary in Vienna}

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