Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sneaky DIY

So remember how I said that DIY projects can shove off because I'm focusing on wine-drinking and logistics instead? Well,  in the process of making one of my "Get Organized, Dammit" lists, I subverted that intention with a boatload of icky-but-important DIY needs that are stealing my wine-drinking moments. It's not pretty-crafty-bloggy DIY, but it's a whole lot of Do-It-Yourself W-O-R-K. Or, since we're enlisting an army of helper friends, it's more like a Do-It-Together-Mush-of-Chaos-And-Hopefully-Some-Results. Unfortunately, DITMOCAHSR doesn't have a great ring to it. But DITMOCAHSR does require lists, assignments, and hours allocations to edge ourselves towards more results and less chaos.  Hopefully.

Our current DITMOCAHSR projects include:
  • Centerpiece Jars: taking the gunk off the 80 jars we've collected over the past year and spray painting them
  • Centerpiece Succulents: praying that the lovely man we found on craigslist five months ago still wants to sell us succulents for cheap (and maybe would help us plant them, for a nominal fee?)
  • Chuppah Construction: Figure out how to hang the cloth from our poles
  • Chuppah Fabric Design: I just figured out a cost-effective(ish) way to solve our chuppah embroidery dilemma with craft skills (and paid delegation) I can handle. However, the time involved may make me cry, so I might scrap it anyhow. We'll see, since this one is important to me. 
  • Guest Book: It's not really a book. And it's linked to my chuppah plans, which makes it feel important. Blerg.
  • Signage: Other people care about coordinated rustic wooden signs. I just care about making sure people don't get lost on the way to the ceremony or eat things they're allergic to. Unfortunately, even practical, ugly signs take time.
  • DIY Photobooth: I have a camera. I have crazy costume crap. I have local friends with even crazier costume crap. But as easy as this task is, I'm still loathe to deal with coordinating wig pick ups and writing camera instructions. I have issues. 
  • Out of Town Welcome Packets: It's just an envelope and a cookie, and I'm refusing to bake the cookie. And yet I'm still stressed by the mounting pile of information people keep requesting and the 83 phone calls from different people about the same topics. I need to find time to write this information down. Time. Wouldn't that be lovely? 
  • Escort Cards: I don't care that someone else did it, this project is important to me too. It won't be pretty, but it will be worthwhile. It may also drive me to ultimately declare that people need to just find their own seats when I end up crying at 2am the night before the wedding. You've been forewarned.
Oh, and because this list hadn't panicked me enough, I decided to develop a project manager task breakdown, to keep me and Jason on track. Each of the items above is organized like so:
  • Craft Project: Out of Town Guest Welcome Packets
  • Description: Envelope with Weekend Instructions, Cookies
  • Items to buy: envelopes, paper, cookie plastic bags, ribbon
  • Time Involved: 4 hours to write, print, stuff envelopes. 3 hours to bake and wrap cookies, 1.5 hours for shopping
  • Request Help from Friends/Family: need to email C, J, M. 
  • Task Assignments: Write copy (Becca), print (M), Stuff envelopes (M&B), Bake and wrap (J &C?), Attach to envelopes (J&C?), Deliver to hotel (??)   
  • Research Links: various cookie recipes on file
  • Logistics: Cookies need to be baked Wed night (at the latest) and delivered to the hotel by midday Thursday.
  • Calendar entry: Not yet scheduled
If you try to soothe me by saying "it will be alright, you can do it, that's not so terrible, you seem so organized!" I'll trump you with the reminder that I haven't shared my soul-suckingly massive "buy/borrow/steal" list. (Yep, steal. Since I'm contractually obligated to provide our vendors with coffee, I'll provide it to them... and no one else. So we're packing up our coffee maker and nicking those little sugar packets, cream, and coffee stirrers whenever I walk past a Starbucks from now until April 3.) 

I just noticed that "DITMOCAHSR" has hints of the word "masochist." If you can't see it, you clearly haven't been in the throes of wedding planning lately. Now please excuse me while I go rock myself in the corner and decide which of these tasks I can throw off the closest bridge.


  1. So wait, are you or aren't you baking cookies? And if you don't have to, then why would you? I know there are some SWELL bakeries in LA, right? I know I could have done without my cookie making went way past the allotted time frame because literally, too many cooks in the kitchen.

    And nobody puts baby in the corner, including herself. Come on out.....I'm pouring a glass of wine for you.....

  2. **Hugs** and more wine. I know it's a mounting to do list. And I know you said not to, but you do seem to be a bit more organized than me. I know it's not a consolation, but it is the truth.

  3. Pfft. Starbucks can afford it. ;)

  4. Wait. How much paper do you need and what size? I have a large box of inkjet-compatible white linen paper in standard letter size (as in a ream of linen paper). I am willing to donate paper, wine, and a D-I-done commiseration to the cause.

    Just let me know.

  5. @Thirty-Something Bride - I am not baking cookies. I remember reading about your experience. I will, however, delegate cookie baking to some lovely friends while I finish up with other crafty goodness.

    @Kimberly - I just consider it fair after years of ordering black coffee on the go.

    @Sarah - I may have to email you about this craft thing. You seem to have that part of the wedding under control.

  6. I'm pretty much depending on you to figure out the chuppah construction and then tell me how to do it. So GOOD LUCK on that, especially.

    But I think your hyper-organized attack plan will me quick work of these projects!

  7. Definitely, I'm a fount of crafting knowledge. It's the only part of wedding planning that I like.

    Oh, also, did you take a look at the cheap canvas bags that Louise used for her OOT bags? Super cute and very inexpensive.

    I may also have access to some envelopes for your letters (in fact, I know I do).

  8. If I was your friend and you needed my help this badly, I'd be miffed you never asked! Girlfriends love wine and crafting parties! Are you sure you're not taking advantage?

    I mean, imagine your three girlfriends also pilfering sugar from Starbucks. ;)

  9. Why am I laughing at your pain? I shouldn't be laughing. Stop laughing, Lyn. But damn, woman. "Now please excuse me while I go rock myself in the corner and decide which of these tasks I can throw off the closest bridge" was the best sentence I've read all week.

    Too bad "good writing" is not a task you can cross off of your horrific list.

  10. I agree with Lira. The giggling and running out of Starbucks naughtily would be well worth it.

  11. @Lira - oh, I'll be asking and begging. The lists are to figure out what we really need to ask FOR, so no generous souls get entirely overwhelmed. And I think I'm picturing some bachelorette party Starbucks pilfering now...

  12. Ahh! I haven't checked in over here in a while, and well, you're in it, there's no denying that! The good news is that in a few months you'll be married and getting rid of all this DIY crap and scrapping these lists, and laughing about the silly stress of it all. Did I mention you'll be married? :) And in the meantime, I recommend more wine and am also happy to steal sugar packets and/or craft for you! Just holler!

  13. I have a tip: forget the photobooth. Too much to organize for so little in return - really.

    Also what the eff is an escort card? I'd skip doing those too. And the cookies.

  14. @Brigatta - the escort cards are placecards. And if we (ie my girlfriends) don't do cookies, I have a sneaking suspicion someone will demand full out-of-town bags. This is our compromise. Sigh.

    And we have a fuji instax already, so if people can't figure out the photobooth, too bad for them. I'm planning on a crazy hat picture, myself. :)


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