Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Love/Hate Relationship with My Wedding Dress

I love my wedding dress.. It's simple, elegant, and just feels right when I put it on. And by "feels right" I mean it suits our location, our wedding vibe, my own personal style, and it's ridiculously comfortable. I'm still amazed that I bought all this dress magic for a mere $200.

However, I also hate my wedding dress because, right now, it's currently one size too small. When I bought it, it was perfectly sized, no alterations necessary.  I'm not sure how this sucker managed to shrink so much while sitting in the closet for the last four months (la la la denial), but it's clearly an evil item of clothing that is using the holiday season calorie fest to further tant me. It whispers to me about how I'll never recover from my normal five pound (...plus) weight gain from Thanksgiving to New Years in time for our April 3 wedding, since I'm already starting from five pounds more than looks decent. The dress is cajoling me to eat salad - salad! - during the hearty soup months and to say no to appetizers and drinks at the 18 holiday parties we have scheduled. It's taunting me because it knows I can't let it out with alterations and that I have zero interest in shopping for a new dress and new set of accessories in February and March.

Long time readers will remember I wrote about how I reconcile my post-holiday weight gain with wedding-related pressures to be beautiful. In any normal year, I'd still be in complete agreement with that post. But this isn't a normal year because I currently have a too-small wedding dress to fit into. And so, I am cursed with trying to lose weight over the weight-gainiest season of all. Instead of nonchalantly stuffing my face with my favorite seasonal treats, I'll have to actually exercise restraint. And exercise a lot. And think way too much about this stupid wedding when I'd prefer to be thinking about gingerbread and mulled wine. This stupid wedding dress is ruining my holiday season.

Bah. I'm stressed enough to start nibbling nonstop from the box of cookies our clients sent as a holiday gift. I won't, but I'll definitely be thinking about those d*mn cookies all day because, as much as I appreciate my newfound commitment to yoga, yoga =/= cookies.

@$^#$^!#$^% wedding and %$&(@(^ wedding dress.

25 comments:

  1. The restraint, it's so hard. Thanksgiving nearly killed me - I have repressed memories of looking longingly at the pumpkin roll for what seemed like hours and being the only sober person around as I diligently had two glasses of water in between each glass of wine. Pathetic.

    The good thing is they come every year, so next year you can go nuts.

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  2. I relate. True I don't have a wedding dress yet, but I need to start making mine like yesterday and I don't know what size to make it. I don't think I'll weigh what I weigh right now (based on past experience of my weight during summer months), so that makes me feel like I should be dieting right now to be the correct weight for my dress making. But this is not the season anyone wants to diet or work out extra.

    Everything in moderation right. Allow yourself a couple cookies but don't eat them straight out of the box. Put them on a plate, put the box away and eat. And lots of water to curb cravings. Don't become a food scrooge because that will just make you grumpy.

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  3. Would shapewear help? I had a dress I loved that an extra five pounds of me hated. Bought shapewear and voila! It fit again!

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  4. As you know, this week I got a stomach virus or food poisoning or something, and I lost five pounds. Now if only I could maintain the "I don't want to eat" feeling without the "but I do want to barf" feeling for another 20 pounds, I would be happy as a clam.

    Which is to say, I totally feel this post. I am a little worried that I won't be able to squeeze myself into my dress next summer, bought way, way too soon.

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  5. I have also been worrying about holiday-eating my way out of the size my wedding dress wants me to be, and I have seven whole months to "correct" any changes. So I feel you.

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  6. You need to go to barmethod.com and buy their workout dvd's. I did the class the month before our wedding and dropped 10 lbs that month. The workout is amazing and it's the only type of workout where i really saw results very quickly. Now that i'm broke, and can't afford the class anymore, i just purchased the workout dvd's - and i'm glad that they are just as good as taking a class! If you've never done it before, go take a class (first one is free) just to learn the correct posture and "tuck" and then get the dvd's..i swear by it!! and overtime it gets you a ballerina's body without the eating disorder! This totally sounds like some sponsored post, but i promise it's not :) Good luck!!!

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  7. I totally feel for you. I started running as a stress reliever (trying to buck the stress eating trend that I have subscribed to for the past 30 or so years...) and I've found that having a 10K or 1/2 marathon that I have already signed up for (and paid for) makes me get up off the couch and go running much more effectively than any future weight loss goals. Good luck - we are all pulling for you.

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  8. Okay, so here's my theory: if you try to start getting in shape for your wedding more than three months beforehand (I mean, like, final shape, not general-as-part-of-making-yourself-healthier weight loss, which is not what you're doing, I don't think), you'll lose steam before the end.

    My suggestion, then, since you're not where you want to be going into the holidays (and 10 pounds would be awfully hard to lose between January and April) is to force yourself to deal with those salads that you should be eating on the weekdays, do the best you can when you're at home on the weekends, and when you have a party? Just set an alcohol limit for yourself. There's no point in total restraint; it won't work--it never works for anyone! But partial restraint may put you in a better position come January and you can deal with it in earnest then.

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  9. This is going to make me sound insane, but I actually like to start major healthy eating pushes right before the holidays.

    What I do is amp up my everyday health factor. So for any meal that isn't actually special (breakfast and lunch always, dinners that aren't out with friends) I eat super healthy. Loads of veggies, high protein, few carbs.

    Then I prioritize my treats. Drinks pretty much always make the list, to be honest. Sweets are indulged in only if they are worth it. Homemade cookies that are excellent - yes, I have a few. That crappy cheap cake that people bring to office parties. No, not even a polite slice. I'll even buy myself really good candy and keep it stashed in my office. That way as the office candy bowl keeps getting refilled with junky candy, I can have one really excellent sea salt caramel instead.

    I find that if I'm on the conscious track, I'm fine. I don't always lose weight during the season (although I certainly have), but I always maintain. If I'm not paying attention, the indulgences start piling up so fast that it snowballs and I gain QUICKLY.

    But I can see where having the dress looming over you would be discouraging. Just be nice to yourself and please don't deprive yourself of everything good!

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  10. Yeah, I'm definitely focusing on moderation/trying to maintain by doing super healthy breakfasts, lunches, and non-social dinners, and really emphasizing exercise 4x/wk. That should allow me to moderately indulge at all the parties and holiday meals without being cranky.

    But the dress is a stressful thing. Just having this required size hanging over me makes it all worse, somehow. I'm generally pretty healthy/subscribe to the moderation theory, but I enjoy letting go a bit over the holidays. I don't like feeling constrained like this. But I don't know how we get away from that challenge of buying a dress and then feeling stressed about sizing, especially if we all buy it ahead of time (at least 6 months, for salons.)

    Glad to know I'm not alone in my stress, worries, or bitterness about having to think so hard about weight instead of health.

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  11. Gah! had a big ol' comment written and then my internet crashed. I'll try again. I got married in May, ordered my dress the July prior and it arrived in November. I ordered it in the size that fit in July and decided that if weight loss happened it happened; if not, it didn't. (Of course I'd be lying if I said I didn't plan or hope to slim down a little bit.)

    By the time candy corn season was over (big weakness of mine), I was tired of caring, especially with the delicious and busy holidays coming up. So I basically said "f*ck it." After the new year, I started bringing my lunch to work every day (a sandwich) to save money and control my previous office-snacking, AND I was busy as shit with stuff for the wedding so I didn't stress- or boredom-snack at home, and I really think that made all the difference. I only managed to do my 30-min shred DVD 3 times through my entire engagement.

    So, don't worry about it now. Get through the holidays -- enjoy the holidays, with your usual moderation attitude in mind -- and then take little steps once the storm has passed. (Once all the delicious sweets are gone you can't keep eating them!) For me, stressing about things tends to exacerbate the problem: I basically let it go, and wedding/life busyness and a tiny bit of meal/portion control got it done by springtime.

    (hope that was helpful!)

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  12. I'm not trying to fit into a dress anymore, but I am trying to get my body to a happy healthy weight and the holidays.... Damn. The only thing that really helps me stay on track is actually tracking what I eat. It is kind of annoying, but I find it quite useful to know just what I'm putting into my body and how much wiggle room I have for treats at the end of the day. I don't want to sound like a marketer (which I'm not), but I've been using the tracker at Livestrong.com/myplate. It has a lot of foods already programmed so it is easy to track them. I also find that it encourages me to do good workouts most days because I get some of the calories back to spend on goodies like wine and gingerbread without feeling so guilty.

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  13. I have spent a good part of the fall tracking what I eat to try to learn to eat more balanced, since I am (as I now know) almost always low in protein, iron, and calcium. Anyhow, Sparkpeople.com is working well for me for tracking stuff, and you can track exercise on there too. And they have online exercise videos on there, but I haven't really checked those out, though a friend of mine says she likes them. (There is also a financial management thing I am trying to start using to work on a budget...) Just wanted to throw that resource out there, since for me actually KNOWING how many calories were in everything I eat has impacted my habits, so when I indulge, it is a choice to indulge instead of an accident. :) (And I think during the holidays you certainly need to enjoy yourself and some favorite foods/meals!)

    Anyhow, I hear you on the lack of motivation. It is cold where I live and I just wanna sit around and drink hot cocoa and eat cookies....

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  14. @metamoreprose and @adventures along the way - I've actually been a weight watchers member for years, so I am very familiar with tracking. Tracking is the only thing that keeps me honest and has taught me about portion control/healthy choices/how exercise balances with calories. But I'm finding that it's near impossible to handle the holiday month and a half. I usually do fine with one or two splurge-ish nights each week, but the holidays have left me navigating about 4/wk.

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  15. http://www.whatkatiedid.us.com/public/product.php?fes_prd_id=517

    DONE

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  16. ignore that dress until after the holidays. april is a good bit away. the evil dress can't stomp out all of your enjoyment.

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  17. I don't know about you, but the more stressed I am over having to lose weight (say like when your seamstress alters your dress too small and it's a month till the wedding) the less likely I am to do so. So give yourself a break and try not to worry too much (I know easier said than done). You have time.

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  18. agreed with liz. april is a ways away lady. enjoy cookies.

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  19. @Liz and Lizzie - Yeah yeah, but April 3 looms larger than, say, April 25. And yeah yeah, I'm still eating cookies. But I can be a cookiemonster, so I'm trying to just be a cookienibbler this year, which pains me a bit.

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  20. Haha, I love cookies too. I have been eating frozen egg-free cookies from the freezer.

    Good for you for tracking stuff and knowing about all this AND for being able to enjoy meals and treats too. :)

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  21. Leaving out cream-based soups, hearty soups actually encourage weight loss. Especially if they are filled with vegetables and enough protein to keep your energy up.

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  22. Brides usually drop 3-5 pounds in the 2 weeks prior to the wedding just due to nerves, tasks to do, and lack of appetite due to said nerves. Hopefully that will make you feel better :)

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  23. Just one thought that always brings me comfort- there is apx one inch inbetween sizes. One inch... totally do-able!

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  24. Well, first and foremost, you WILL lose weight before the wedding. You WILL fit into your dress. Period. You will make it happen with the personal resolve you so clearly have.

    It pains me to read you so stressed about 5 pounds. Once January rolls around, you know the entire country will ban bad-for-you food and it will be easy to drop the pounds.

    Until then, I think eating healthy (there is totally a thing as too much roughage) and allowing yourself to eat at parties will make for a more relaxed Becca.

    And look at it this way, we aren't going to ONE holiday party this year because we have no friends here yet. NOT ONE. Revel in the 18 you've been invited to - concentrate on friends and family and you're golden. :)

    My 2 cents.

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  25. I would say that shapewear will help you. I know i doeasn't sound nice to wear it, but bellieve - it helps a lot!

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