I love my wedding dress.. It's simple, elegant, and just feels right when I put it on. And by "feels right" I mean it suits our location, our wedding vibe, my own personal style, and it's ridiculously comfortable. I'm still amazed that I bought all this dress magic for a mere $200.
However, I also hate my wedding dress because, right now, it's currently one size too small. When I bought it, it was perfectly sized, no alterations necessary. I'm not sure how this sucker managed to shrink so much while sitting in the closet for the last four months (la la la denial), but it's clearly an evil item of clothing that is using the holiday season calorie fest to further tant me. It whispers to me about how I'll never recover from my normal five pound (...plus) weight gain from Thanksgiving to New Years in time for our April 3 wedding, since I'm already starting from five pounds more than looks decent. The dress is cajoling me to eat salad - salad! - during the hearty soup months and to say no to appetizers and drinks at the 18 holiday parties we have scheduled. It's taunting me because it knows I can't let it out with alterations and that I have zero interest in shopping for a new dress and new set of accessories in February and March.
Long time readers will remember I wrote about how I reconcile my post-holiday weight gain with wedding-related pressures to be beautiful. In any normal year, I'd still be in complete agreement with that post. But this isn't a normal year because I currently have a too-small wedding dress to fit into. And so, I am cursed with trying to lose weight over the weight-gainiest season of all. Instead of nonchalantly stuffing my face with my favorite seasonal treats, I'll have to actually exercise restraint. And exercise a lot. And think way too much about this stupid wedding when I'd prefer to be thinking about gingerbread and mulled wine. This stupid wedding dress is ruining my holiday season.
Bah. I'm stressed enough to start nibbling nonstop from the box of cookies our clients sent as a holiday gift. I won't, but I'll definitely be thinking about those d*mn cookies all day because, as much as I appreciate my newfound commitment to yoga, yoga =/= cookies.
@$^#$^!#$^% wedding and %$&(@(^ wedding dress.