Even if the blog's been quiet for the last few weeks, it doesn't mean I've been avoiding wedding stuff. In fact, I've probably been more productive in the last two weeks than during any other single time during this wedding process. Of course, all that doing has left very little time for writing. And somehow I'm still behind on the doing (it really never ends. I swear I end up adding two items for every item I cross off the to-do list.) So I hope you'll forgive me for a cursory check-in post as I try to sort out the jumble of accomplishments, DIY projects, silly-but-important freakouts, ceremony thoughts, and joining-family joys that I've been grappling with lately. Because here's a fraction of the wedding jumble, as it currently stands:
We ordered our invitations. Hmm. It sounds so deceptively easy when you say it like that. "Oh, we ordered our invitations" doesn't hint at the hours of angst that went into this checklist accomplishment. I may have spent several days pouring through every recycled paper invitation option on etsy (again), every option on Printable Press, every option on Hello Lucky, and every option I'd previously bookmarked for invitation inspiration. Didn't I mention at some point that I didn't care about invitations? Why yes, I did. Well, I gave up. I admitted that I wanted something that made my soul sing a teensy bit, and soul-songs on recycled paper don't seem to happen with the $1.50-$2.00 range invitations. And I admitted that if I had to think about finding a good printer (ours is terrible) and cutting paper and gluing little pieces of paper to make invitations, I would have screamed and thrown a wedding tantrum. So I sucked up the extra dollar per invitation and made my aesthetic soul and my to-do list happy. Sometimes, mini fortunes are oh-so worth it. (wheee money! whee wedding!)
We decided on our ketubah. I fell shell-shock in love with the first ketubah I found over Thanksgiving weekend. Although I've been lazily researching and bookmarking over the last year, I never found anything that made me think "Yes, absolutely YES." But then I finally got serious about our four-month-out wedding needs (side note: HOLY CRAP FOUR MONTHS), typed something about modern art ketubahs into Google, got directed to a random blog, and gasped. I then showed it to Jason and his jaw dropped. I then spent the next day scrolling through all 800 ketubahs on ketubah.com because I simply couldn't believe that we found our ketubah with my first browser click. Well... it turns out we found our ketubah with my first browser click. But I had to work through the shock and doubt to really believe my gut. I think there's a lesson in here somewhere, but if previous wedding lessons have taught me anything, it's that I haven't learned my lesson yet.
We met with our rabbi again, we're re-reading the New Jewish Wedding, and we're starting to talk about the pre-wedding rituals and ceremony ideas that resonate with both of us. This is the raw, momentous, joyful, and bone-achingly important part. This is the part of the wedding that's connecting me to thousands of years of family history, to our present values and relationship, and to our future plans for an ethical Jewish life. We're talking about the beauty and deep wisdom in how our tradition approaches so many aspects of the wedding, and we're talking about which traditions we want to choose and the ways in which we can truly make those traditions ours. It's the part of the wedding that I curl up with at the end of the night, when the rest of it is sending me spinning in headless chicken circles.
We planned out a rough honeymoon itinerary for our Guatemala honeymoon, with the help of our new Lonely Planet guidebook, some of your comments and emails (thank you!) and some internet searches. I can now buy our plane tickets, make a honeymoon registry, and dream about a new camera. Mine broke a year ago and now, after looking through photos of Guatemala, I need a camera. It's been a long time since I had a good excuse to take great travel photos, and I'm itching for it already. I wish I had money to get a DSLR and learn how to use it, but oh well. That can be a post-honeymoon goal. I'm okay with my nice point-and-shoot interim goal because I'm going to Guatemala.
I bought a necklace and a pair of wedding shoes. I returned the shoes and bought a second necklace and earrings. I then ordered another necklace and pair of earrings. (I told you there was a silly-but-important freakout in there. More to come on this particular bout of the wedding crazies in an upcoming post.)
I had my first wedding shower. Jason's mother and their family friend organized and hosted a shower over Thanksgiving. I spend a lot of time before the shower feeling bad about all these women spending money on shower presents and just asking them to host a girl's afternoon. But I get it now. After being overwhelmed with generosity and love from all the women who love Jason, I get it. This deserves its own post too.
I wrote half my shower thank you cards before running out of stationary. Jason then discovered an insane Black Friday (Sunday?) deal on thank you cards at Target: $2.00 for a box of 25 cards. And they're perfectly nice! They aren't as nice as the Paper Source cards I just used up, but they're nice! And given that I'll probably need to write about 150 cards in the near future (showers, holiday, wedding) I'm thrilled with "$2.00 and nice," especially if it's dressed up with the content of heartfelt gratitude.
We ordered rubber stamps: one with our return address (for those 150 thank you cards and 100 invitations) and one with a succulent-looking flower that we can use to accent our table numbers, escort cards, and random paper goods. I decided I couldn't stomach trying to print our return address on envelopes. I also decided that a well-designed self-inking address stamp was far prettier than labels, just as easy to use, and inexpensive when ordered via vistaprint. And heck, if we say eff it to the floral design stamping (which is a real last minute eff-it possibility), I lost a whole $7 in the transaction. Big whoop.
We decided on our wedding centerpiece idea. For real this time. And while it won't be cheap-cheap, we get to use the pasta sauce jars we've been saving for the last year mixed in with some inexpensive Ikea pieces, succulents, and whatever flowers are in season the day before our wedding. Now, we just need to prepare ourselves for our biggest DIY wedding endeavor, which will involve goo gone, spray paint, dirt under our fingernails, a last minute trip to buy flowers, and some wine to ease me into a proper "eff it" approach when something surely goes haywire.
There's more. Oh goodness, there's more. But maybe I'll wait to relate that until after our trip to Costco and Ikea this weekend. And until after I actually put in our rental order (I know, I know. I'm procrastinating and still haven't made up my mind on the stupid glasses.) But the point is, there's been a whirlwind of forward motion that caught me up and left me without time or perspective to write. And it feels good to whittle away at this darn checklist.