Monday, November 15, 2010

Crying in Cars With Boys

You know how sometimes it all gets to be too much, but you haven't been talking about the real issues, and you're both sleep deprived and overstressed already, and then all of a sudden something tiny makes you burst into tears?

Well, um, I don't generally do that. Except, apparently, when weddings are involved. Because weddings have lots of those tiny things that can make me burst into tears, especially when I'm coming to terms with necessary compromises that win out over previously treasured, emotionally resonant plans. And when I'm really not crying about wedding stuff at all, but about all the hard stuff happening in real life, and all the ways that weddings can highlight the emotional knifetwists of our losses, yearnings, and hopes.

But the nice part about crying in cars with boys (or girls, if that's your thing) is that there's generally a hug at the end of the sniffles. Their hugs don't make everything better, but they certainly help.


  1. this was my weekend. i'm so thankful there's a hug at the end of it all.

  2. aww...i understand this for sure...oftentimes my rare crying fits are because of "too much" garbage going on and it takes one tiny thing to set it all you said, weddings are full of those "tiny" things.

  3. I highly recommend reading The Conscious Bride, by Nissinen. It helps so much when you begin to understand why your crying, it helps to move pass the grief. Hope your feeling better soon!

  4. Listen, I do not intend to distract from the gravity of crying and dealing with hard stuff, but I really like how you referenced a movie title right there. Also, I think "Crying in Cars With Boys" would make a great name for an 80s synth-pop band.


    Anyway. I know that feeling all too well. In fact, I just experienced it Sunday night, except I wasn't in a car at the time. Also, I wasn't even planning a wedding. What do you know about that? Turns out I cry when I'm pushed to explain or defend something I care about, because I CARE about it.

    So I guess sometimes I'm grateful for the tiny stuff, because they're like little tips poking out above the surface that alert you to the iceberg underneath. Of course, I'm usually only able to be grateful after it's all said and done and I've moved past it.

    In the meantime, enjoy that hug.

  5. aw I definitely get this post. i remember crying the car with my husband (he was my boyfriend then) for the first time and how he stopped the car and comforted me. well thats not why I married him but it certainly was a piece of it :)


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