Friday, November 5, 2010

Boring, Hectic, and Necessary

Sorry for the silence here, but it’s hard to get jazzed up about this phase of wedding planning, which is also known as “getting sh*t done.” There’s no real musings to be mused about hotel block research, even if we did score a pretty sweet deal ($140/night, including parking, in the very chic Hotel Angelino. Booyah.) And frankly, although I’m sure you’re all thrilled with my budget prowess, there’s no real blog post excitement to be found in unearthing a (comparatively) affordable equipment rental option (no, I don’t care if they have thin tablecloths. I just care that the tablecloths aren’t plastic.)

But that would be a boring blog post. Even if I told you about the super hipster hip hotel with black walls, sheep in the lobby, and a bowling alley next door that I fell in love with (the Custom Hotel). See? You’re still bored. That’s because this stage of wedding planning is boring, hectic, and necessary. In fact, the most exciting wedding planning moment of the week only was only tangentially related to weddings, because we met with our rabbi this week to start talking about the ceremony, but got entirely sidetracked into talking about our new synagogue that we adore and all the great community, volunteer, and adult learning activities we can get involved in. Instead of talking about our wedding needs, we talked about the ethical and spiritual life we’re building.

Because in the end, isn’t that what’s important about all of this planning and running around? We’re working on building a meaningful life in the midst of life tasks which are often boring, hectic, and necessary. But it’s a life whose drudgery can be transformed by small moments of beauty, however fleeting. A life which can be infused with purpose, once we decide to focus on creating communities and communal rituals that matter to us. A life in which our weddings demand space for a little bit of sparkle and a whole lot of out-of-the-ordinary celebratory joy. Yesterday, with our rabbi, we focused on that life-sparkle. At some point, we’ll focus on the wedding sparkles too but, for now, the life-sparkle was more than enough.

Even though we didn’t talk much about our wedding, meeting with our rabbi reminded me that all these slog-through-them to-do list items really do matter, as frustrating and boring as they may be. Because with every to-do list victory, we’re getting closer to creating our wedding and creating a whole day of powerful moments, rituals, and memories that matter.


  1. Hang in there and use this as a space to vent--getting sh*t done counts for a LOT! xo

  2. A story about a hotel with sheep in the lobby is not possibly boring.

    Also, I like posts about process and checklists and getting things done. And your conversations with your Rabbi sound wonderful.

  3. Oh my. My law school did their "on"-campus interview program there for two years. There is no air conditioning in the hallways, where we all waited with our suits on in the sweltering August heat, a misery compounded only by our nerves about selling ourselves in fifteen minutes or less.

    That has nothing to do with your wedding. Just my bad memories. ;)

    Congrats on choosing a hotel! I had a hard time with that task because I couldn't do it entirely online (but boy did I try). It is not the most fun item on the to-do list, but what a relief to be done!

  4. Boring and hectic aside, this post WAS necessary. Documenting your very real (and not always blushing and glowy) wedding process is ESSENTIAL and NECESSARY, not only for you but for your readers.

    While we may want to fantasize it's all mother-daughter makeovers and champagne toasts and cutesy little tulle-wrapped favors, it's NOT. Don't think because it's not all epiphanies and budget-speak that it's not important to us. You're putting a face on what it means to be a bride, and that's what counts. :)

  5. @Adventures and @Sarah - Yes, I think I need to write more about the sheep. Because they (along with the super-cool decor, blankets with dogs, mod furniture, amazing restaurant, and i-want-to-hang-out-at-the-pool-and-bar were pretty darn amazing... but not grandparent-friendly.

    @A Marigold - I will warn people not to hang out in the hallways :) Yeah, and the process wasn't fun, but we're so glad we didn't trust the online descriptions or reviews. We really found a gem in the end.

    @Chan of the Wed - Ha. Blushing and Glowy. I'm still waiting for that part (bring on the bridal showers and the wedding day, please.)

  6. woman woman WOMAN! I am proud of you. Kudos for finding a cool hotel under $150. you RAWK! This is not an easy fete in L.A. no sirree......

    Reading your blog has inspired me to no end. You've helped me develop a backbone & I'm handling inquiries from our families much MUCH better.

  7. woo hoo! booked that block rate! get 'em girl!

    and like mouse said, this is your space to say whatever you want - vent away. it is never boring.

  8. that stuff definitely matters...props on your hotel block lady!


I love active conversations, including (civil) disagreement. I don't love spam or people who use internet anonymity to be rude and disparaging. Spam and rudeness will be deleted.