- I can't let go of my idiotic angst about our ugly chairs, nor can I seem to design magical cheapo nature-inspired succulent wedding centerpieces that tie in the black-and-silver chairs with the rustic brick-and-wood backdrop. I thought I had finally found some chic sliver goblet things in a thrift store that might fit the bill, but I left the store without buying them and missed my "perfect centerpiece" opportunity. Oh, and the succulents I've been trying to grow are wilting anyhow.
- I cannot seem to make our email save the dates nor our blog-powered wedsite look remotely polished. I cannot integrate our Google-based survey into our wordpress-powered wedsite. And I frankly cannot give a d*mn anymore. In our push to finally send the darn emails already, I'm giving up. I'm waving the white flag. I'm finally admitting that pretty oftentimes has to give way to practicality. I have zero time. Jason has zero time. And I don't want to spend my two hours of non-errand-full weekend time trying to design a "perfect" save the date.
- I got a quote on embroidery for our chuppah that would cost us $3,000. Our chuppah idea is the wedding "detail" that matters most to me out of everything, so I'm trying to pick my jaw off the floor and find more affordable, and hopefully just as meaningful, options. (If anyone knows what embroidery should cost or where to go in Los Angeles for help, I'd love your insight please)
I spent a good day debating whether we could just pay someone to make our save-the-date and website troubles go away. But I'm running up against the limit of our practical reality, and that means I'm finally giving up on a lot of pretties. If I've finally said eff it to the pretty website and save the date (because it turns out my DIY skills and patience are more limited than is necessary for weddingland pretty) then my guess is I'll say eff it to dozens more weddingland pretties along the way too. My soul hurts a little bit when I admit this to myself, because I really truly believed I was going to have a super stylish wedding, DIY incompetence and budget notwithstanding.
I haven't read the design-oriented wedding blogs in ages. I thought this distance and my eff it mantras made me immune to their siren call to stylish insanity. Alas, no. Because even if I'd stopped reading those blogs, I've been holding tight to the image they've created, stored deep in my weddinbrain recesses, of what a chic wedding looks like. And my wedding simply can't measure up, visually. I don't have a team of designers. I don't have the time (or frankly, the interest) in DIYing it all myself. And as this reality slowly sinks in, my brain is thanking me for finally, truly, letting go. Their images are undeniably chic and stunning, but me and my wedding are finally learning to content with our messy authenticity.