Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday Thoughts

It's been a long week. It's the sort of week where my health went entirely wonky, we're still living in my parents house for fear of pesticides, and I had to confront some old emotions that got dredged up out of nowhere that forced me to deal with some Big Stuff. This week meant that I checked out a bit from the blog and from weddings because I've just needed to pull inward instead. I have nothing light and fluffy to say, but nor do I have any interest in wallowing further in the uber-serious posts of the last few days.

The only things that have helped are Jason, who has supported my really challenging healing efforts, and our cats, who are treating my parents two-story house like a massive playground of awesome. Jason has run errands for me at 9pm when I had no energy, has shifted around our holiday weekend plans to support my needs, and has endured conversations about my weird body issues with humor and grace.  The cats pounce on my feet as we come down the stairs (they really think we can't see them "hiding" on the bottom stair) and drop pieces of dry food in our shoes in an effort to play that usually entices me to tease them with strings and tummy rubs.

With everything that's going on, we're both taking time to process the Big Stuff I wrote about this week and more. And so, I wanted to end the week on a hopeful note about these questions, with a quote Jason sent me from Louis CK, a comedian who draws his materials from the real-life stress of having a family. He's talking about why he uses family for the source of his comedy:
"I mean, everything that's difficult, you should be able to laugh about. And the reason it's difficult to have a family is because it's important. I mean, if I didn't love my kids, is would be easy to raise them. But I love 'em, so you gotta do it the hard way. It's important to you, so you do it the hard way. It's important."
But it was Jason's discussion of the quote that really made me glow with quiet joy and appreciation. 
"I think that concept applies to marriage.  Maintaining a strong marriage can be difficult, but we put in the effort because it's important.  Living in the same house as someone is easy.  Some people can "coast" in their marriage, and they might do OK for a while.  But a really strong, solid partnership is hard.  It takes work.  But we do it because it matters to us, and we become better as a result.  And to make the difficult parts a little easier, sometimes we have to laugh about it."
We do. We truly do laugh about it and I've never had a better time with bad puns and third-grade bodily-function humor than during this week. And for those third-grade giggles, I am truly grateful.

I hope you all have a long weekend of giggles and joy. And to my blog friends getting married this weekend - Emilia Jane and KC - I wish you both beautiful weddings and a lifetime of laughter and joy through the good and bad times both.

9 comments:

  1. Oh lady, I hope you are feeling better soon. I'm glad you've got such an amazing support network.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post is weighing heavily on my mind today.. my grandmother just passed away a few hours ago with my mother at her side. I made her the last meal she ever ate last Saturday night...it has been a super hard week of a lot of hard core emotions and watching her body diminish into nothing. I totally lost it last night when my mother described what she is going through and how her body is reacting...she couldn't eat, drink or talk these last few days. She was gurgling a lot trying to breathe and cough up all the fluids that have bloated her body from lung and heart disease. Her kidneys shut down...just so much.

    It truly makes me realize the extent of the health of our bodies and how we take it for granted. Just breathing comes so easily to us but when your body shuts down or has issues, breathing becomes a strain and struggle...a luxury.

    Today especially I am praying for health for you and for you to endure the hard times with joy and peace knowing that you have love around you...just as my grandmother had the love of all of us family who visited her these last few months. It is such a blessing to have a home to go to...have a great weekend girl and thank God for Jason and your cats ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You and Jason are two very lucky, wonderful people. That Lewis CK quote is a good one to hold on to. And so very true.

    <3!

    Have a wonderful weekend! Sending lots of love and happiness your and Jason's way! I hope you know how hearted you are.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the quotes from Louis CK and Jason! The mental image I continually return to is that of metal being annealed and purified by heat, until it becomes its purest, truest essence. I've returned to that image again and again during hard times.

    I hope you'll be feeling your strongest, best self soon!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dealing with Big Stuff is way better when you've got a Jason/furry kitty combo support system. They help even out the lows and boost the highs even higher. That's a miracle in itself.

    I am sorry to hear about the mental/physical setback. I don't profess to know what it is or how to fix it, but I do know that earlier this week, I suddenly burst into tears while brushing my teeth one morning, because of things that had happened a long, long, long time ago. It's strange the way life is cyclical while being linear. Sometimes we have to revisit things again and again until we can move on, away from them forever.

    Here's to forever.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your support system sounds about as perfect as it can get when dealing with the Big Stuff.

    There must be something in the air because yesterday, when I was commenting on divorce etc. over at APW, it dredged up all sorts of Old Bad, and I have been crying and afeared of our future off and on since. I agree with Lyn; there are some Life Lessons that we just have to revisit things until we've truly processed them and let them go.

    *Hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hope you get better soon. Being ill is never a bundle of joy, but I'm glad you've got Jason and the kitties to cheer your spirit.

    And also, Jason is an amazing partner to contemplate the work a marriage takes and the need to laugh about it sometimes. His words warm my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hope you're feeling better soon. At least you have Jason to be appreciative of ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. hope you're feeling better soon, becca. take comfort in the fact that jason is obviously awesome. also, have you watched louis ck's new show? i saw the first one saturday night and died laughing.

    ReplyDelete

I love active conversations, including (civil) disagreement. I don't love spam or people who use internet anonymity to be rude and disparaging. Spam and rudeness will be deleted.