"Favors? You get party favors at weddings now? Why? Isn't that for birthday parties? Aren't you giving them food and drink already? I don't understand. We never had party favors for weddings. Why do I want a glass figurine of two owls? Or a picture frame with their wedding date on it? This is just silly."
From a conversation with my Mother, Summer 2010:
"Ooh Becca! I have a great idea for your favors! See, it's a template that says Love. You print it out and wrap it around a chocolate bar! It's simple and inexpensive and cute!"
Sigh. Weddings officially addle the brain of anyone within a two generation radius. But I'm still not doing favors. I have enough to deal with, DIY, and pay for without usually-thrown-away knicknacks or superfluous food. I sometimes feel like favors are the sneaky last-ditch effort of the wedding industry to finally break us of our will to resist. Soul finally broken, I will sit down like a good weddingbot and develop a DIY timeline to make my pocketfold invitation suites, coordinated drink flags for signature drinks, charming bunting, hanging mason jar candle holders, a birdcage veil, escort cards, out of town bags, an ipod playlist, and a floral scheme that matches our wedding palette. At some point, overwhelmed because my DIY projects look like DIY kindergarten crafts, I will break down in tears and become a good little wedding consumer who just hires someone to take care of the mess because I can't handle it anymore and I just need some d*mn sleep already.
And it all started with the "easy" chocolate bar favors that "only" cost $150 ($.50 per chocolate bar, $.50 for bar for paper, color printing and glue sticks, 150 guests) and the complete loss of sanity during the 1am assembly session during which you realize that you're already having enough sugar at the dessert buffet to destroy a diabetic ten times over so why the hell are you bothering with candy bar favors too?
Miss Manners agrees. "Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children's birthday parties, where guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention... You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion." Indeed. We're not doing favors. We're focusing on a heartfelt receiving line (or receiving area, more likely), great food, free-flowing wine and beer, a great party, transportation, and genuine thank you card sentiments. That $150 and 1am freakout is best saved for wedding stuff that matters*. Like our attempt to grow and design succulent centerpieces, obviously.
* If favors are something that matters to you and they are truly reflective of your relationship, then I am fully supportive of your project efforts. Different wedding stuff matters to different people. I just despise the notion that favors are expected.