Friday, July 23, 2010

Down from the Ledge

This week, my inner wedding dialogue has gone something like this: "grumble grumble blue plastic plates grumble budget grumble well at least I have pretty papel picado OH NO WHAT IF THE PAPEL PICADO DOESNT MATCH THE PLATES deep breath research hotels effity eff all these hotels are expensive, okay research shuttles, effity eff these are expensive too, grumble grumble why the eff do succulent plants cost $5 per plant??!! grumble I hate the black plastic chairs at my venue but GRUMBLE BUDGET GRUUUUUUMBLE my wedding is going to be mismatched and uuuuuuuuugly and I know that shouldn't matter but WAAAAAAA."

In other words, this week was not exactly a shining moment in my wedding keep-it-together-ness. Which is why, at times like this, it really helps to have sane and fabulous wedding friends. Like Emilia Jane, our DOC, but more importantly a wedding friend who just got married herself. I emailed her in an angst-ridden panic about all of the above. And she made it better.

She reminded me that our reception room is stunning (yes, yes it is)

photo by Chris Soltis, who does amazing LA nightlife and downtown photography

She told me she actually likes the blue, BPA-free, recycled, reusable, dishwasher-safe plastic plates (psst - they're on sale right now, in case you have picnic or, um, inexpensive eco-friendly wedding needs.)


And she especially likes the plates because they'll tie in with the bold color papel picado strands and So Cal fiesta theme we already have, especially if we're smart about the napkins and tablecloths (I'd forgotten about those, and smart choices in linens could help tone down the color-everywhere effect and tie them in together.)


When I panicked about how to tie in the black plastic chairs with sliver trim (yes the ones in the reception room photo) with our wooden ikea boxes and succulent centerpieces, she reminded me that I could paint the boxes white or find white planters. Oh. Yes. I think that would work well and solve the chair clashing issue without "needing" to find money to rent white chairs. I was getting nervous I'd have to give up succulent/mod fiesta dreams to match the chairs. And yes, while white chairs would be lovely, I don't know that they're worth $375 of lovely when my budget's strapped already.

Oh, and she reminded me that no one will care about the decor once they're actually at the wedding because they'll be too busy talking and eating and drinking and dancing. She did warn me that, if I'm planning to invite Martha Stewart, the decor might be an issue. Yeah, not really a concern. I think this will all work out okay.

So, in case you're like me and you've been running around in a panic about wedding things you know are insignificant but really truly seem to matter and are altogether terrible and awful, I'm advocating an email or two to a fabulous wedding friend. Someone who can talk you down from the ledge you knew was silly to stand on in the first place. Someone who can make sanity real again. And then I think you should thank them profusely, because I've never felt more grateful for people (like Emilia and all of you) who can sympathize with freakouts about plastic chairs and plates and yet can still point me the direction of sane and pretty.

29 comments:

  1. It's going to be amazing! Love it all! And if Martha shows up and does not like it well you have every right to kick her ass lol.

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  2. these are the times that try men's souls.

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  3. Oooooh, you could also paint those boxes a cool metallic silver. I love metallics with a wood grain texture.

    Oh sorry. Not meaning to make the process harder. Just fantasy-designing.

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  4. I love all your ideas and I totally agree with Emilia Jane: 1. It's all going to come together and be quirky/wonderful. 2. No one will care once they are there celebrating with you guys.

    But oh how I understand your pain. I have been having extreme chair envy lately...and yet no part of me is willing to spend 8 dollars (8 dollars) for a freakin' chair every damn cafe in the freakin' world has. Grump. Grump. Damn wedding expenses. I asked why they were so expensive and was told it was because they are wedding "trendy" right now. Ugh. Gross.

    Anyway...I'm excited to see it all come together! :)

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  5. also- as a sidenote. i don't know if it's just me, but chairs never really register on my radar.

    i just helped host a banquet for 40, and the chairs TOTALLY clashed with the decor. and after everything was set-up, it wasn't noticeable at all.

    and i'm very much a details+aesthetics girl. VERY MUCH.

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  6. Those photos are so great! I love the colors and the chairs and the ideas. And actually, had you thought about black tablecloths like in the photo to match the chairs? Those bright pops of color against black might be super cool? If that's your style.

    I love it when friends help ease your frustrations...glad you had a good one ready and willing to talk you down ;)

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  7. @Elizabeth - Ha. Though, if by "try men's souls" you are referring to poor Jason's soul and how patient he has become with my insanity, then yes. Indeed. And it makes me the teeniest bit sad.

    @Thirty-Something Bride - Actually, I appreciate the group brainstorm. If I could find cool metallic planters in the ikea price range, I might go for that.

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  8. That room *is* beautiful! And your friend is right, those plates are really not "ugly", and they will be a great pop of color to tie in the rest of your decor.

    Also: black chairs? totally not a big deal. Chairs are almost never a big deal. I only upgraded mine because the white wooden ones looked like they were in dire need of a power washing. Mismatch: not embarrassing. Dirty: embarrassing.

    I like the advice of talking to a friend who knows what you're going through and can talk you down. I remember things like this feeling like huge problems, and maybe if I'd talked to someone who wasn't in the thick of *my* wedding, s/he could have helped me chill out faster (I eventually did anyway because there just wasn't any more money to make things any better, but some validation would have helped, too. ;)

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  9. The think with chairs is, unless they are orange or something (which happens, ick), you don't notice them once everyone is seated. Plus you are not going to notice much small stuff once the party starts, and you have a great photographer, who's going to make everything look super hip in retrospect.

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  10. I'm SO LOVING THIS POST. Haha. Ok.
    1. I spent the last 5+ years having papel picado inspired living rooms
    2. There is no 2

    Inspiration:
    every room here: http://www.casaluna.com/

    How many chairs? You could take apart more papel picado and attach little flags to the back of each chair? stencil the planters with papel picado stencils (and spray paint.)

    But, getting super natural linen-type tablecloths, and natural wood planters, and bright bits of color - super, super dreamy.

    http://www.beyondfrance.co.uk/acatalog/Blue_Stripe_Linen_Rolls.html

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  11. these are definitely stressful times! It is so nice to have someone to go to to talk you down and make you feel and happy and warm (like love! the whole reason we're up to our ears in this wedding stuff!)

    p.s. Lowes has succulents for $2-3!

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  12. it's really true that no one notices the decor...they're too busy eating andd drinking and dancing. but if the room is stunning, you have it easy, because anything you put on those tables will look cool. i love the decor photos you posted so far and the planters are great! ikea is fantastic for that stuff. also, if those are the chairs in the photo, i think they'll make the venue look even funkier. i had plastic white chairs and was a little worried about it but they were going to charge me 7 bucks per chair for the gold resin ones, so i said forget it. in the end, it still looked fine.

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  13. I'm glad I could help! I know it will be wonderful and all come together no matter what. Oh and I just meant WE {spray}painted our boxes white...you can paint yours whatever color...I really like the silver idea to go with the chairs!

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  14. Ok can I add again like a crazy person that I've been thinking about natural linen tones + blue all morning now and the combination makes my heart have spasms of joy. Ok. That's all. No pressure.

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  15. So I should probably say that as someone who wants to try and make a living off the little details, I probably shouldn't have admitted that the details don't matter. Also, that is not entirely true. I believe that, even though not EVERY person will notice EVERY detail, all the details together can create a certain backdrop for emotion. Traditional, formal decor might create that kind of atmosophere while a more laid-back, vibrant aesthetic could make for a very lively, casual, fun evening. There is nothing wrong with formal but I think sometimes it's easier to get down and groovy faster when the visuals lean in that direction (and there is free booze and good music). Still, the black chairs are not going to make it or break it and like Meg says you won't even notice them when all your favorite people have their butts in the seats!

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  16. @Emilia Jane - The details do matter to me, or I wouldn't have emailed in a panic about how to help sort it out. I value your taste and smarts and yet your ultimate sense of what's important about it all. I'm, um, not planning to get married in a bare room. I could, and I know it would still be an incredible wedding, but aesthetic honesty and feeling like I'm treating the room and day as something special matters too. Even if our budget is small.

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  17. It's hard to see the fruits of our labor in one, big vision through planning. We work on it bit by bit and then hope it looks awesome.

    As long as you're being yourself, I think you'll be very pleased! :)

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  18. I just wanted to let you know that I remember hating the chairs at my wedding reception venue, and now I do not even remember what they looked like at all. I am so glad I didn't spend hundreds of dollars on "prettier" chairs.

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  19. I really love the dark blue plates with the green napkin and cutlery! Very pretty combination!

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  20. Beautiful venue! Where is that at (the first photo)? Thanks!

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  21. @Kelly - if you're looking for venues, email me. I have a huge list of alternative. lower-cost options for LA. My site is up in the Santa Monica Mountains/Malibu-ish.

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  22. we're not at the point of wedding details since we still have over a year until our September 2011 wedding, but it is great advice to "call a friend" when I get to that breaking point. And for the record, I am definitely considering plastic recyclables. We will have an outdoor wedding and haven't decided on the food yet, but at this point, I think plastic is certainly acceptable. As with other posters, I've heard that renting could potentially be similar costs to plastic but I guess I'll consider that when the time comes to make that decision...

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  23. ur website sucks ass

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  24. I love the green plastic stuff--reinforces the eco-friendly message. Maybe with black tablecloths to match the chairs and contrast the colors...and silver painted succulent boxes.

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  25. Nobody's gonna notice the chairs or care if the boxes and chairs don't "match", and honestly white chairs are kinda "meh" anyway. So you're fine!

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  26. oh, lady.

    i am laughing out effing LOUD at our friend, anonymous.

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  27. thats what blog friends are for and...oh and have you been keeping an eye out at the 99 cent stores? they sometimes have lots of wonderful things like lucky bamboo or cacti...worth a drive by for sure!!

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  28. Oooh where is this? Love the rustic feel!

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  29. We're doing papel picado too! Although I haven't even thought about the colors or how to hang it. Actually the more I read your awesome blog, the more lucky I feel to read another bride's thoughts who is having a) a wedding in LA b) on a budget c) with a Fiesta theme (I'm calling it Chic Mexican wedding totally lame) d) on the exact same timeline as mine. Woo hoo! Jackpot! This is my I f*ing rock moment for the day!

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