Tuesday, June 29, 2010

When Things Go Wrong

Apparently this wedding horror video went viral back in 2008, but I missed it at the time.



I know, right? Gasp, ack, horror, what a waste of a $1000+ dress and $500 hair and makeup. And yet... while my first response was certainly OMFG horror, my immediately-thereafter response was to giggle uncontrollably. Not at the bride, mind you, but in a shrug-your-shoulders, that's-life, something-ridiculous-is-bound-to-happen-at-my-wedding-too, and I-plan-to-have-a-real-sense-of-humor-about-it way. While I wouldn't wish this on anyone (and especially not at such an important moment of the ceremony), my uncontrollable giggles were a nice little reminder that I will absolutely be able to roll with the punches if all my plans and backup plans and backup backup plans (because I have those too) go to hell.

After my video-related shock, I discovered that this video was actually a viral marketing campaign for a low-budget movie. But it didn't change the direction of my contemplation and the way it made me think about my wedding or how I might respond when something goes wrong.  My hope is uncontrollable giggles, smiles, or a general water-off-the-back approach. Heck, I've ended up in a fountain before, fully clothed and sopping wet, and it's still one of the best travel stories I've ever collected (though that is an entirely different story for a different time). At my heart, I'm a roll with the punches girl. I'm the one who stays weirdly calm and manages medical emergencies, natural disasters, and police incidents with cool and efficient detachment despite my over-analytical neuroticism about most things. I furiously planplanplan my vacations and contingency plans, and then I'm happy to just let things happen, fountain swimming included.

For the wedding, I have a rain plan. We're also considering buying wedding insurance and not just a liability rider on our renter's insurance policy. I know where I'd get takeout pizza if the catering fails us. I am making lists of phone numbers with last minute just-in-case scenarios now, despite the fact that the wedding is nine months away. I am prepared for our wedding. And yet, it will not go as planned. Even without a pool to get knocked into, my hair and makeup will probably end up disastrous by the end of the night and my dress will get dirty around the hem by the time the night is over. Our wedding is bound to be highly imperfect, no matter how much we try to control and plan. And, while I truly hope that our imperfection isn't the falling-into-a-pool sort (which would be particularly disconcerting, considering there are no bodies of water at our venue), I'm not too worried if it's something similar in scope. Because, what's the worse that could happen? A particularly notable story about a wedding disaster and a giggly bride who went for it and changed back into her getting-ready blue jeans, that's what.

Giggles, marriage, and blue jeans don't sound half bad, actually. And if I giggle, I figure the guests will all take a cue and giggle with me. And then we'll have a room full of smiles and people who feel free to get a little crazier with their dancing without worrying about hair, makeup, or dirty hems. And that sounds just about right.

14 comments:

  1. Ah yes- that video is classic. When I showed my fiance (before realizing it was staged as well), he told me he would jump into the pool after me. That way, we'd be laughing at each other. That's when I knew I found the one.

    Good post. Your wedding will not be perfect - but that alone, will make it perfect. :)

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  2. I hear you on the backup backup plans. :) I had ideas rolling around of where I would get pizza for the rehearsal dinner if our first food option didn't work out at the last minute, etc. Though I probably over-think (and over-worry) about these things, I feel like having the plan makes me feel more ready and prepared to be in the moment when the time actually comes. (And things don't go according to plan.) But of course there is a healthy balance in there somewhere, and I think maybe I err on the over-planning side.

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  3. Your attitude is spot on and I want to have the same one myself. Things are going to go wrong. Hopefully none will be noticeable for guests, but those that are — well you can't control everything, so you might as well roll with life's punches. At least it'll make a good story.

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  4. Yup. Things are gonna go wrong and all you can do is laugh. If you even care at all at that point! :) AND I wanna hear the fountain story!

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  5. I hope I have your same calmness on my wedding day! I don't see anything mattering as much as my attitude and my happiness - not food, not weather, not whatever! I actually just read a similiar post to this on another blog, where the bride cried all thru the day because things were going wrong. While I can say that won't be the case with me, it's much easier said than done. I guess reading posts like this one and that one are preperation! I'll just have to remember it when the time is here.

    PS - that video is just HORRORIFYING! I am so glad it's not real. Whew.

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  6. if you laugh, everyone will too. i am trying to take a similar attitude towards the day. working on it :)

    reagrdless, it'll be a good day! i'm guessing it will be like 'okay so something went wrong. oh wait? that was it? why was i so worked up?'

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  7. I think the video is hilarious. It just the type thing that will happen to me.

    Big whoop. I'm still going to get married.

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  8. The lesson I took away from this video was: don't plan our ceremony to take place pool-side. As the youngest of three, with two older brothers, I have a long history of getting thrown in the pool. I would want to cry and would end up in one of those awkward hiccupping-crying-laughs. But really, I would be mad and then I would be a bad sport, and all pictures of me for the rest of the day would have the World's Grumpiest Expression (which my mom calls my "Crabby Appleton" face -- yes, my grumpy face is so grumpy it has a name). Good thing we've planned our ceremony to take place indoors. After the pictures are taken, then I will bring out the water guns. That's totally different.

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  9. I saw that video a long time ago, too. So sad. I would be totally devastated...not necessarily about the getting everything ruined part, but about the time I would miss away from my hubby and guests while having to clean up and get changed :)

    Yes, something will go wrong on your wedding day - hopefully not horribly wrong - but absolutely wrong. It did on ours...just wait for my recap on our ring exchange...UGH!

    But in the end, none of it matters...it's really about the memories of the day and the love of you and Jason as you become husband and wife :) You have a great perspective...keep focused on it.

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  10. I had a minor issue on the day - during the reception, the photographer had sent Groom and I off to take a photo, and when we were finished, I could hear all our guests karaoking to 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. I didn't want to miss it, so in my brilliance I decided to run back. Of course I tripped and fell and now have a grass stain across the front of my wedding dress. But it's cool, because it was after the ceremony and it reminds me of something fun. And the grass stain has a name - Queen Stripe.

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  11. I was waiting for someone to bleed or barf all over her dress. I never saw this, but it is hysterical!
    Do you remember my post a while back about all my "what if's?" I had the back-up pizza, Costco cake and floral arrangements covered too! It's like reading those "Worst Case Scenario" books. Or like being a Boy Scout - always prepared.

    Oh, and by night's end, you will not give one rat's ass about your dress. I ripped my bustle out dancing (happily, it didn't actually tear the dress, just the button), so I looped the tie around my wrist and kept shakin' my ass. AND, there were actually some pretty pictures of me hugging people good-bye with my train draped around people.

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  12. I totally agree with Ms Bunny- if things go wrong, at least you have a good story. Things to look back on and smile and laugh about.

    I've been to a good number of weddings and the ones that stand out are the ones that have something go completely wrong, but everyone bounces back happier from it. Except the time, the bride's cousin jumped one of the groomsmen. That was not cool at all.

    You sound uber prepared! Making me a little nervous. We're 46 days away with no rain plan, no back up caterer, none of it. I should probably get on that! :)

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  13. They did admit that that video was fake, btw...but the lesson learned from it is still important!

    As I posted over on APW, I'd be OK with trashing a dress and makeup that way...and hair. Those things won't cost that much in the grand scheme of our event. As for ruining the ceremony? Naw, just makes it fun!

    I would, however, be deeply upset if there were a problem with the food, because we paid a LOT of money (a LOT LOT LOT) for great food, and I'd hate to see that money go in the trash.

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  14. I was so prepared for things to go wrong... and yet somehow, the things that did go "wrong" were exactly what I hadn't quite planned for. Ahh life, LOL.

    (btw, did I ever mention I started a blog? Not much to look at, but there it is: http://silver-sandalled.blogspot.com/)

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