Friday, April 2, 2010


We attended a massive Passover seder last night. Each year, our friend is generous/crazy enough to invite over a giant 30-person mix of Jews and non-Jews to participate in the seder rituals, wine drinking, and general dinner party merriment. When we arrived at his house, he had two long banquet tables set with pretty plastic dinnerware, a few votive candles, and wine. Within moments of sitting down, the room and tables were overflowing with elbows, conversation, food and joy.

And that was all we needed. Obviously, Passover isn't about the pretty tablescapes and I generally don't expect to see fancy china at our friends' apartment parties (especially when serving 30 people). But the point was that the centerpieces and fancy china and everything else we can easily obsess over for our weddings wouldn't even have fit on that table, because the elbows, conversation, food and joy took clear precedence, making centerpieces a moot point. An inconvenience and distraction, even.

And so, last night was simply another reminder of the things that really matter when planning our celebrations: making space for those conversations and joy.


  1. I wonder when we decided that centerpieces were a necessary part of the wedding decor. I do frequently decorate my table when we have friends over for a big dinner, but it's nothing extravagant. And long tables look lovely when they're set with plates and glasses, and they don't really need anything else.

    Maybe it stems from the fact that round tables somehow are the most common option for weddings? Because I will admit that round tables look a bit bare in the middle if you don't add some sort of decoration, while long skinny tables can do without.

    Now I'm just rambling. I have nothing to contribute, really. Just that I like a simple table (especially one with plenty of wine options!).

  2. Yes, yes, yes. I really want everyone to be relaxed and happy at our wedding. Elbows, conversation, food, and joy are very welcome. Who cares about centerpieces anyway.

  3. This is a great way to go into planning the intimate part of the wedding when everyone is getting acquainted and celebrating.

  4. This is the message I want to remember in all our planning: simplicity. Things don't need to be complicated and ornate to make a beautiful wedding. As you said, you need to leave room for the guests to converse, eat, and stretch out.


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