Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Our Wedding Checklist

I am a perfect case study in why no one should make any wedding purchases more than a year out from their wedding date. Because, after all my scheming and deal finding, I have zero to actually mark off as complete on my wedding checklist.
  • I bought five amazing vintage silver serving platters at a thrift shop, thinking we could use them in the wedding. Unfortunately, we're probably going for a California Casual-Chic look that plays with shapes, texture and color (think succulents and bold springtime influences.) Since our home has more modern, clean line, bold color decor as well, the vintage serving platters don't match either our wedding or our everyday life. Great.
  • I bought an amazing dress, at an amazing deal, but it no longer fits me or our more casual afternoon-into-evening party. But, when I finally managed to find a buyer, I then proceeded to freak out about how much I love the dress and couldn't possibly part with it. I then had to spend the next two hours looking through simple dresses options with bold accessories that feel much more like my authentic style. 
  • Similarly, Jason has an amazing Theory suit that he bought last year. So we were cucumber-calm about the status of his attire (and pretty excited about the wedding budget reading $0 for that line item.) Until we realized that an afternoon-to-evening event might call for something less formal than a black suit. Grey suit and vest browsing has begun.
  • We decided to go for The Flashdance DJ splurge and couldn't be happier. Only we can't sign the contract with Michael and secure our date because we haven't heard back from the venue about our contract.
  • We know our venue, but yeah, getting in touch with them has been a bit difficult. On the plus side, once we sign the contract they're supposedly just as hands-off about rules and restrictions. But, it would still be nice to have a contract for our cheap, non-profit, BYOB, cater/eat-whatever-you-want, we-can-actually-afford-it, venue.
On the plus side, I bought those Abstract Expressionist stamps for our thank you cards. And we've been eating a lot of dishes that call for tomato sauce, meaning we've had a lot of time to start collecting surprisingly pretty (and free!) mason jars. So, if everything else goes to hell, at least I can send thank you cards to the people who attend our mason jar decorated, Flashdance-accompanied soiree. Which will be happening somewhere, at some point in time, with some sort of attire.

This is what six months of planning and shopping got us: stamps, pasta jars, and the hard-earned knowledge that no one with a long engagement should make ANY decisions in the first six months. Except for the venue. I'd definitely recommend locking down that venue.

20 comments:

  1. I just gotta step in and say I think he probably can wear a black suit to a casual afternoon-evening wedding. I'm sure lots of people do it. Think about whether him wearing a black suit v a gray suit is really going to make that big of a difference to the day. I think it just depends on how important style is to him.

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  2. Story of our lives. I kept making decisions I was sure of only to find out a few weeks or months later that I had changed my mind. So we made a rule that we weren't allowed to make any purchases until we were well in sight of our wedding day. Things like venue and photographer have been done for months. But we're two months away and we've only now just started buying things. Although it means we'll have a crazy couple of months leading up, it's a much better alternative to spending all our money on stuff we'll end up wanting to change.

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  3. @Julia - the grey suit push is him. And who am I to complain, seeing as how my dress budget is more than most suits (and much less than most wedding dress budgets, but still.) We'll see, because we both love that suit, but I'm not sure it works with afternoon cocktail lawngames

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  4. @Ms Fancy Pants - nice to know we're not the only ones. We're thinking of waiting until after the summer wedding season to swoop in on resale deals. We'll be about six months out by then, so hopefully indecision won't overhwhelm us at that point. Hopefully.

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  5. I'm so glad I'm not the only one rinsing and saving pasta sauce jars! It's hard to hold back until the weding is within-sight, but I think we all make preliminary purchases that don't work out (and uh, change our minds 1000 times). At least your silver platters will be worth it, even if they aren't wedding'd!

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  6. those classico jars are the best! i use them for rice and grain storage as well.

    For all my waffling and indecision making, I haven't bought many items up until a few months ago. Now I have cardboard boxes stacked around the apartment just waiting to be made into things.

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  7. what a good idea with the tomato jars! I have tons of pickle ones but they always seem to smell a little

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  8. also, I know the feeling of constantly doing wedding stuff but having nothing to check off. thats why i make lists with things like:
    1- wake up
    2- take a shower
    3- eat brekafast
    etc, etc, etc

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  9. I'm a year out, this is a good lesson - I keep finding groups of items I "could" use in my wedding - Target, Thrifting, etc. I'm going to chillax!

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  10. good point! it happened to me too. i saved vintage cake stands and mason jars from 1 year ago. not only that they will not be in the wedding, i don't think we will ever use them for our everyday life... well, maybe a vintage baby shower or a kid's birthday. one day :)

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  11. You make me feel calmer. I have like nothing done — everything is just ideas. And one of my good friends, whose wedding is going to be 3 months after ours has made so much more progress I feel behind.

    We'll both get things figured out and locked down, just a little closer to the time. I hope you don't stress anymore. It'll work out.

    However, I do need to get moving on the venue and a date.

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  12. uh, YES. Same. I keep thinking "we have loads of time!" and then realizing there's a million things to do. Our search for (fall, cinnamon, tweedy country) suits last weekend was useless. I need to start making my dress, etc etc etc.

    waiting til after the season seems like a good idea - and just trusting that things will fall into place!

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  13. I'm glad I'm not the only waffler. And hey, you can totally change your venue with less than 6 months to go too. ;) I am only now, with 3 months to go, starting to open the wallet for purchases because I tend to be a waffler in real life too.

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  14. I have 40 sauce jars on my counter. We eat a lot of faux italian food.

    Um, not to be the voice of opposition, but I dont think you need to change all your plans. Everything doesn't have to be so matchy matchy right?

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  15. @cupcake - I have no plans, so there's nothing to change!

    But seriously, we'll use what we have and can afford, within reason. The silver platters will get used for dessert or not (and whatever, $15 for five was awesome), J is making his own suit decision (I think he looks hot in his current suit, personally. But he's not thrilled with the black for daytime, so who am I with my white-dress obsession to complain?) And we don't want to scrap the rest of it. We desperately want the venue to work out. Please, dear dieties, make this work.

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  16. Don't stress - we left it ALL to the very last minute - think still making things at midnight the night before - making my dress fit the day before - and we survived!

    Being married is so much better that getting married!

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  17. @ Mrs T - Thanks for the from-the-other-side perspective from a fellow last-minute person. Much appreciated here.

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  18. This is good advice. I am making obsessive lists but since the purchase of an ill-advised giant candlestick a mere fortnight after getting engaged, I've resolved to wait until at least 10 months to go before making any more purchases, however small. That candlestick is still taunting me every time I open the cupboard and I am determined to use the damn thing even though I have no idea how/why!

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  19. haha, i think you've definitely made progress. i love the sauce jar idea..practical and pretty. and, that's awesome that you are ready to book the flashdance! we're less than two months out and still have tons of things to check off, but we're slowly making progress. we asked all the groomsmen to wear black suits and we'll provide the tie, but we're not sure if the groom (chad) should wear black or gray.

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  20. this is so helpful for people to keep in mind. we started talking about marriage a while ago, but didn't officially get engaged until november. By that time I already had pretty much decided what I wanted aesthetically. but we're not getting married until feb 2011, and all my friends and family were pushing us to take our time and thoroughly look at options (plus I'm also graduating in june and should probably focus on school at the moment!).
    the only thing I did was buy my dress, because it was on sale. What I discovered was what I wanted and what the options actually were (availability, cost, etc) were 2 different things. Reception venue was easy (his mom's house), ceremony venue very difficult (cost, location and size...and communication with options that we did find). But Fiance and I haven't made any decisions without talking them through and exhausting our options.

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