Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Recap from a Groom's Perspective

I've been pretty vocal about advocating for grooms' voices in the wedding planning world and celebrating those who do grapple publicly with wedding planning (go check out the groom blog links on my sidebar!) but it's still all too rare here in weddingland. I know from your comments and emails that you feel the same way: you wish you knew how to better engage your grooms in the planning process, your groom wishes that he felt more prepared or invested in the process, and both of you lament the lack of community and resources on the groom's end of things (though this is changing, slowly.)

So that's why all of you should go read this post over at Veiled Vows right now. And then you should email it to your grooms. Emilia Jane has an amazing recap from the groom's perspective about the process and challenges of planning their DIY wedding that I minimally excerpted below. (The bride's recap will follow in an upcoming post on Veiled Vows).
Before starting the planning, I hadn’t really thought of the design aspects at all. My parents had a cookie-cutter wedding that was planned by my grandmother, whereas Cori’s parents had a tiny in-house wedding and her sister (& brother-in-law) had a very personal crafty wedding. For me, my idea of a wedding was more about the start of a committed marriage & somehow I hadn’t really thought about the event as a day. Planning out the myriad details wasn’t part of my initial picture. For me, at least, it’s one of the most important things to understand as a groom. The party is part of the process.
...
I wanted to be involved! I wanted everything to be truly mutual, but at the same time I had a lot of trouble getting myself fully into the wedding planning mindset (which scares me when I think about how I am already not your average groom, I’m an avid knitter and do most of the cooking, while C is more hammer and nails). The result was that, when it came to the details, I felt like most of the planning and creative ideas came from C. (Of course all of the big decisions: venue, food, officiant, etc. were completely mutual) 
...
On the other hand, I feel like the actual wedding-work was doled out mutually when it came to the actual doing. And I think this is important for grooms to keep in mind. If you agree to have those handmade paper decorations that are compostable, do not make your fiancĂ©e craft alone.  
This is only a small excerpt of Zach's wisdom and insight into planning and partnership. So what are you waiting for?  Go read the rest now and share it with your own partner straightaway.

1 comment:

  1. Mr B is going to be doing some recaps on my blog in the next week or so. Love me some groom input.

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