In Jewish tradition, we aren't permitted to get married on the Sabbath which, for us, falls on Saturday. Therefore, from sundown on Friday through sundown on Saturday, all wedding rituals are a no-go. Well, technically we could start after the 7:15 sunset but, given that we have to get through a ketubah signing, ceremony, and untold numbers of hugs prior to the reception, I'm not willing to make guests wait until 10pm to eat. I'm also not willing to wait for a holiday weekend to get married (so you have the Sunday-as-Saturday-ish benefit) since flights are always pricier over holiday weekends and I've been stuck shelling out $500 for a few cross-country weddings-on-holiday weekend flights myself. Given that we want to make this affordable and convenient for our out-of-town friends and family, I refuse to put an extra $200 per person barrier between them and their ability to celebrate our wedding in person.
So we set about planning our Sunday wedding. So what if the noise restrictions may shut down the party at 10pm? So what if all our local guests will probably creep home by 10pm for "school night" hours anyhow? So what if bars aren't generally open late on Sunday night? We want a party, damnit. We want a giant mass of revelry and joy. We want messy dancing and flailing arms and heels-kicked-off getting down action on the party floor.
Which would be fine and totally doable, if we were having a Saturday wedding. But we're not. And all this time, we've been trying to plan a Saturday wedding on a Sunday. I've been making myself sick about how to get that dance party vibe, whether an 8pm-10pm party will feel like a sad truncated junior high dance, whether people will dance if the music is on lower post-10pm volumes, whether we have enough young out-of-towners to keep the dance floor full on a school night, and whether there are any affordable hotels with bars that are open on Sunday for a plan-B afterparty locale. Because I've been trying to plan a Saturday wedding. Only I don't have a Saturday wedding. I have a Sunday wedding. On a hilltop in the Malibu Canyons that's 30 minutes from the urbanized city. With a 10pm noise restriction issue. Given these parameters, I think we've finally realized that our Saturday-type plans just don't make sense.
So eff it. From here on out we're planning a Sunday wedding, at the site we love that felt 100% right the moment we saw it. Instead of trying to cram our original wedding ideas into the wrong peg, we're going to see what feels right from a Sunday timing-and-feel perspective. Perhaps it's a Sunday brunch wedding with an evening pool party at the hotel. Perhaps it's a boozy Sunday lunch barbecue with lawn games. Perhaps its an afternoon punch-and-cake soiree with lawn games, a band, and a for-the-kids dance party in a bar close to the hotel. Or maybe it's a tapas and wine wedding party with light music and dancing. We don't know. By finally admitting what our wedding is not, we're finally giving ourselves the chance to discover what it might become.