Whereas my succulent bouquet inspiration plays with shape and color a bit more:
Somehow, this aesthetic disagreement led to an argument, despite the fact that Jason was only trying to help. It gets even worse, though. Because not only did I behave like an ungrateful, frazzled, weddinged-out tool, but I DON'T EVEN WANT A BOUQUET. That's right, we fought about aesthetics for something that is so unimportant to me that I don't even want one. Sigh.
In my defense, I'd just spent the afternoon battling with my mother about not wanting a bouquet. Because apparently not having a bouquet is a giant bridal no-no. I find this idiotic, since no one I've asked (including my mother) can explain the purpose of a bouquet. Yes, the purpose. Since we're not tied to tradition-for-tradition's sake, the question "why bother" has become pretty important in this planning process. As best as I can tell, a bouquet is simply a pretty bridal prop, and a fleeting, extraordinarily expensive, overly photographed one at that (sorry, I'm not in love with detail shots). At least it does have an interesting origin, if not a purpose, as Ellie from Wedding for Two described in a post about choosing traditions,
With bouquets - people used to bathe only once, maybe twice a year. Flowers covered the stench of a bride who hadn't washed herself in months. I shower daily. Therefore I do not need a bouquet. However, it will upset the moms if I don't have it. So I'm sucking it up.Oh. So bouquets are simply vestiges of foul personal hygiene habits in a bygone era. Awesome. I'd now feel entirely justified in saying eff it... except for that mother thing. (Perhaps Ellie is wiser than I, in that regard.) Let's assume for a moment that I'm willing to consider acquiescing to give my mother this small joy (since bouquets are not the hill I want to die on. We have the possible barbecue wedding battle to survive first.) I still can't figure out what to DO with the darn thing besides hold it in portrait photos. Some of you might say "carry it down the aisle, of course!" But that's not going to work for me, since I'll be holding BOTH my parents' arms down the aisle (in Jewish tradition both parents walk their child - bride and groom - down the aisle.) So I won't even have a place to hold the silly prop.
This argument held zero water with my mother. Instead, she demonstrated how I could loop my arms through both of theirs and hold my bouquet in the middle. I foresee a klutzy train-and-heel-filled disaster whereas she's in proud-mama daydream land. So, to bolster my case, I asked a few of my recently married girlfriends what they did with their bouquets. Almost unanimously, the responses were "I handed it to my maid of honor," " I held it in photos" and "I dried it afterwards and I have it as a keepsake." Note that I didn't mention bouquet tossing, because that's just not how me or most of my girlfriends roll. Also note that NO ONE actually held onto it for more than a few minutes all night. To me, those few minutes are not worth either a) spending $150 on having a rad succulent bouquet made by a florist (because I know I'm not getting near this sort of DIY) b) dealing with finding organic flowers and making one myself the day before or c) making it out of sustainable materials ahead of time and having it as a permanent keepsake. Until I came to my I-have-zero-time-to-thrift-for-brooches-and-what-would-I-even-do-with-the-thing-after-the-wedding senses, I was a little set on making one of these:
As with so much of this wedding stuff, a bouquet is not a requirement. And if it's an aesthetic option without an intrinsic purpose to the day (besides reminding us to use deodorant), then I can't for the life of me figure out why I should give a damn. I like pretty, but at this point bouquet-pretty and the effort to achieve it may be beyond my point of giving-a-damn. If anyone has a good argument for keeping the bouquet, I'm curious as to why. And if you were remotely contemplating ditching the bouquet, please let me know. I'm feeling like I've committed some weird bridal taboo for even bringing up my questions. And if there's a good enough reason or my mother reeeeeally cares that much, I can always throw together some farmer's market organic flowers that morning or go with a last-minute eff it.