Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Let's Put Bridezilla on the Endangered Species List

Yes Yes YES.  I just finished reading this guest post over at Offbeat Bride. I have never read anything that better captures every frustration I have about the term "Bridezilla."  I despise that term.  Hearing it makes me feel like I just smelled curdled milk.  And this article perfectly explains why.
Basically, you're a Bridezilla no matter what the hell you do. And this is only true for brides – few would rag on a groom no matter how much of the decision-making is his doing.
If you want a big wedding with all of your family and friends there, and want to be inclusive rather than exclusive, you're a Bridezilla because "you want a huge, overblown wedding" to, I dunno, get presents and show off how much money you spent. If you want a small, intimate wedding with only closest confidantes and immediate family, you're a Bridezilla because you "didn't invite Aunt Clytemnestra who sold your great great uncle a goat in 1923" and you are so stuffy, snobby and exclusive that you'd shun your loved ones.
If you spend a lot of money, you're foolish and immature to want to throw it away on a party that encompasses just one day. Don't you know that you should spend that on a down payment for a house? That's what we grown-ups do, you Bridezilla! If you don't spend a lot of money, whatever you do is…here's that word again: tacky. Are your parents paying? Daddy's Girl Bridezilla! Paying for it yourselves? Too immature to know that there are better uses for that money!
And that's only a minuscule piece of the amazingness.  If you want to read a mind-blowing piece that deconstructs exactly how brides are neatly set up to be labeled Bridezillas, then go read about our rock and our hard place over here at Offbeat Bride

As of this minute, Bridezilla is officially scrubbed from the lexicon here at A Los Angeles Love.  Let's all help put that beastly term into extinction.

7 comments:

  1. I loved that post too! It makes me so mad that as women we are inundated with ideas/opinions/expectations surrounding our weddings and yet any decision we make can be criticized and immediately reduced to "nonsense" by both society and other women alike. I think the acrimony needs to stop here and ridding our vocabulary of the word bridezilla is a great place to start!

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  2. So true. You said it lady - just bride now, just bride.

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  3. Bridezilla is such a horrible term. You are so right about people saying it no matter what you do. Great post.

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  4. Ahh... as always a breath of fresh air. I know exactly what you mean this term should be axed I am all for it. Down with the zilla!

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  5. Isn't that fascinating? "Few would rag on the groom no matter how much of the decision-making is his doing."

    As the beau has watched me struggle with sorting through the cultural expectations involved in being a bride/future wife, he's remarked that he doesn't feel the same weight of expectations. For him, "groom" and "husband" don't have negative connotations. And I've wondered how much of it is his own personal experience and how much of it is a result of his gender.

    And sometimes, too, I wonder if I'm somehow taking this too seriously. If I'm being too sensitive to how unforgiving society is to women. But I'm not making up this rock and this hard place, as you put it, and neither are you.

    I'm just glad we all have each other to sort the craziness out with.

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