I've lost a little weight recently*, and my engagement ring is now too big. In fact, it's so big that instead of just being awkwardly loose it slipped into the range of entirely too big when it simply fell off last week at work. So, all weekend, I wandered around engagement-ring free, not worrying at all about my ring's safety during the Great Los Angeles Walk or while making a my first apple pie ever at the Jennie Cooks Catering open house. It was a relief. It was one less worry during an already stressful time period (really, engagement rings are not important enough to be taking up this much brainspace) and I kind of enjoyed the confusion people expressed when I mentioned my wedding or my fiance and no one could see a ring.
Obviously, I'll have to make time to get this ring resized. But, before that happens, I have tons of family occasions during which people are sure to grab my hand and coo over the size of my ring (at which point I'll inform them it's synthetic sapphire, because I'm not good with jewelery cooing.) In particular, I'm heading off to spend Thanksgiving with J's family in Texas, most of whom I haven't seen since the engagement, so cooing is almost a definite likelihood (if my family gatherings are any indication). And cooing isn't bad, per se, it's just not very comfortable for me. And I'd prefer to leave the ring safe at home until I find time to get it resized (maybe, oh, in mid-January) and make it safe for everyday wear. But, I feel a strange obligation to wear the ring this Thanksgiving as a marker of our engagement and my upcoming joining with this family.
It's strange conflicting stuff, and you know I'm already a bit conflicted about the ring altogether. But, along with holiday and travel stress, the ring issues are the last thing I need. And so, today, I kinda wish I had this ring, because I'm feeling a little rebellious and overwhelmed with all the holiday expectations - for gifts, for work, for family, and for what it means to be a teensy bit on display (even if I already adore the people I'll be visiting and on display with.)
Okay, to be fair, I'm not really feeling completely "eff you" about the engagement ring (although that's an awesome ring, right?) I just wish it wasn't an additional pressure at an already stressful time. And I really wish I could magically transport myself to Texas instead of battling with LAX on Wednesday morning. I'm trying to focus on family, love and pie right now and take a deep breath about the rest. I think I may need to revisit Rachel's non-insane holiday guide over at Heart of Light again before the day is over.
*I want to state, for the record, that I am NOT losing weight for the wedding. Blech. I am losing weight because I finally got back on the healthy-and-balanced Weight Watchers bandwagon after about six petulant months off.