Monday, November 23, 2009

More Engagement Ring Stress

I've lost a little weight recently*, and my engagement ring is now too big.  In fact, it's so big that instead of just being awkwardly loose it slipped into the range of entirely too big when it simply fell off last week at work.  So, all weekend, I wandered around engagement-ring free, not worrying at all about my ring's safety during the Great Los Angeles Walk or while making a my first apple pie ever at the Jennie Cooks Catering open house.  It was a relief.  It was one less worry during an already stressful time period (really, engagement rings are not important enough to be taking up this much brainspace) and I kind of enjoyed the confusion people expressed when I mentioned my wedding or my fiance and no one could see a ring.

Obviously, I'll have to make time to get this ring resized.  But, before that happens, I have tons of family occasions during which people are sure to grab my hand and coo over the size of my ring (at which point I'll inform them it's synthetic sapphire, because I'm not good with jewelery cooing.) In particular, I'm heading off to spend Thanksgiving with J's family in Texas, most of whom I haven't seen since the engagement, so cooing is almost a definite likelihood (if my family gatherings are any indication).  And cooing isn't bad, per se, it's just not very comfortable for me.  And I'd prefer to leave the ring safe at home until I find time to get it resized (maybe, oh, in mid-January) and make it safe for everyday wear.  But, I feel a strange obligation to wear the ring this Thanksgiving as a marker of our engagement and my upcoming joining with this family.   

It's strange conflicting stuff, and you know I'm already a bit conflicted about the ring altogether.  But, along with holiday and travel stress, the ring issues are the last thing I need.  And so, today, I kinda wish I had this ring, because I'm feeling a little rebellious and overwhelmed with all the holiday expectations - for gifts, for work, for family, and for what it means to be a teensy bit on display (even if I already adore the people I'll be visiting and on display with.) 

Okay, to be fair, I'm not really feeling completely "eff you" about the engagement ring (although that's an awesome ring, right?)  I just wish it wasn't an additional pressure at an already stressful time.  And I really wish I could magically transport myself to Texas instead of battling with LAX on Wednesday morning.  I'm trying to focus on family, love and pie right now and take a deep breath about the rest.  I think I may need to revisit Rachel's non-insane holiday guide over at Heart of Light again before the day is over. 

*I want to state, for the record, that I am NOT losing weight for the wedding.  Blech.  I am losing weight because I finally got back on the healthy-and-balanced Weight Watchers bandwagon after about six petulant months off.


  1. My ring falls off in the shower and I loathe the idea of losing weight and having to have it resized.

    Maybe you can wear a 25 cent ring from the supermarket machines as a placeholder and to show how unimportant the actual ring is, but that you still honor the symbolism of what it stands for? And then you can show the nosy relatives pictures of the real ring to keep them happy.

  2. yo! i totally hear you on ALL your engagement ring woes AND think that toy ring is awesome! There's a jeweler up the street from us (downtown LA) who has sized a bunch of jewelry for us and the BEST part is he's quick & cheap. As in 20 minutes/20 dollars. And the work's been excellent! So let me know if you'd like his contact info! And good luck with the family holiday and all the ring ogling it's sure to lend itself to.

  3. For a while I was wearing my ring on a necklace because I was worried about it being too loose. I gained a few pounds back and it fits again, bla. Btw, congrats on getting back on the WW wagon. My wife has lost 140lbs on it so far.

  4. My ring doesn't fit either and is pretty loose. Though thankfully it doesn't slip off, but I can pull it off like it's slipping down a slide full of butter.

    Anyway, we can't have my ring fact, some jewelers have told us they won't even touch my ring! It has a marquis center stone with 28 princess cut diamonds on both sides of the marquis. The princess stones are in an invisible setting which means if they tried to shrink the size of the ring, all those pretty little stones would probably bust right out of the ring! :(

    We are now going to be meeting with a jeweler to see about having a little band in the shape of a half moon added to the inside of the ring under my finger so the stupid thing will stay in place and not be so loose. Btw, the cold weather also loosens rings...something to think about when sizing. You don't want to go too small cuz then when it's warm out again, it may be too small!

  5. the second you take off the engagement ring, people NOTICE, and then they freak out, because they somehow think the ring symbolizes the status of your engagement. ridiculous.

    if you fear J's parents would have this same reaction, or they would be turned off by the fact that you aren't wearing a ring no matter how much you try to explain the sitch, then i say get a stand-in ring.

  6. I'm in a similar situation, but my finger shrinks and swells a whole half size on a daily basis (sometimes hourly basis).

    I'm looking into sizing balls — small metal balls the insert in the inside of the ring for account for shrinkage and expansion.

    In the meantime, why don't you put it on a chain around your neck so you don't have to worry about it slipping off and you won't totally blow your relatives' minds.

  7. word to the wagon! I am attempting to get back into healthy habits and my old WW ways as well, wedding or no. well done you!

  8. I like the idea of wearing it on a necklace. Maybe less people will freak out that way and you can still have your ring close without it being on your finger.
    Left something for you on my blog

  9. Best of luck whatever you decide. Love that toy bling!


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